“I had to make an emergency trip to India as my mother got covid and had to be admitted in the hospital for low oxygen levels,” said my friend from the USA.
In the very same breath, he mused that the sudden trip costed him a bomb. “So much money spent”, was his remark.
The letting go of money was the toughest part. Correction. The ‘sudden’ and ‘unexpected’ letting go was painful. That pain stayed on though it was now almost two months to his visit.
Why is letting go of material things so difficult for most of us? For that matter, why is it difficult to let go of past issues, previous acrimonious conversations, hurt feelings, rejections, failures, loss of promotion, conflicts with team, etc.; – the list can be quiet long!
Letting go of the past
My mother used to always say – ‘do not keep the wallet full, let there be space for more money to come in. And for that space to be there, you need to spend – money goes, money comes.’
If I were to extrapolate this in real life – to make space for new experiences and new feelings, we need to let go of previous thoughts and incidents.
Is it possible to acquire new learnings, enhance knowledge, expand network, rebuild relationships (both, personal as well as professional) if we move ahead?
The simple answer is YES.
Our professional life and environment are a minefield of experiences – the good and the not so good ones. Unfortunately, many of us spend time ruminating over what did not work. That stops us from moving one.
Some tips and ways that can support you here:
- Reframe the situation
Receiving feedback, especially if it points to things that did not go well in your job, is always a sensitive situation. Not many times the landing is smooth. It can lead to sleepless nights and anxious moments with the manager and/or team. Reframing the situations can help us receive the feedback in a constructive way.
Begin by accepting things as they are. Acknowledge mistakes made, if any. Then take a step back and bring your thoughts to the present. Identify the good things happening in the moment. Let those thoughts stay with you for some time. Feel them permeate your inner being.
- Forgive yourself
How we love to berate our own selves! ‘I am no good.’ ‘I can’t do this new task that my manager has asked me to do.’ ‘I cannot pick up a new skill at this age.’
Sounds familiar does it not? Do you recall the last time you were able forgive yourself for what did not go right/along the expected lines? How much do you really love yourself the way you are? We are all a mix of the good and the still-on-the-learning-curve type.
When we do not forgive ourselves, we shut our world from expressing gratitude towards what we have. Live your life with abundance and joy instead of pushing yourself to a point of self-remorse.
- Look at the lessons
Do you recall when you left your previous job because of the way things went wrong…now you have a new job, yet you cannot let go of the bitter taste. You have chosen to bring your baggage and frustration with you in your new work environment. This is normal and happens with most of us.
You can however make a success of your current situation and what lies ahead by focusing on the best lessons that you picked up from the last job.
There is a learning that lurks behind every work situation – be it a different role, relocation, or a new manager or a restructuring. When you focus on the good outcomes based on your earlier experiences, it prepares you to welcome new situations with an open mind.
It is a tough rat race out there professionally. The environment is changing fast. We need to pick up new skills and adapt ourselves to this dynamic and fluid situation. You can do that only if you are able to let go of the past and move on.
The views and opinions published here belong to the author and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the publisher.
As an Associate Certified Coach (ACC) from the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and Senior Practitioner (Mentoring) from the European Council of Mentoring and Coaching (EMCC), Sarita specializes in career transition, inner engineering and life issues. Sarita enjoys writing and is passionate about animals, books, and movies.
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