Some Karela a Coconut and a Pink Rose…

The sky was painted in shades of orange as Deepa and I made our way back towards my parents home in Wayanad, Kerala after an evening walk. We reached an intersection and stopped to catch our breath. There was a lady standing there near the milk depot. I said “good evening” and Deepa wished her “happy new year”. She smiled and wished us the same.

“Where are you going?” She asked us in Malayalam. I replied in half Tamil and half Malayalam that we were going to my father’s house and pointed towards it. Her face lit up once she discovered who I was. She went on to share that for 35 years she has lived in the house opposite my father place.

As we approached our respective front gates she opened a bag that she was carrying and took out a handful of freshly picked Karela and offered them to us. She then signalled for us to wait. Minutes later she appeared from inside her house with a coconut which she also pressed into my hands insisting it take it home. And just before we waved good bye from her garden she picked a solitary pink rose that adorned her rose bush and offered it to Deepa.

Actions truly speak louder than words. Language was a barrier but the heart speak loud and she gave us such lovely gifts that truly made us feel blessed to have good neighbours. A day later as we headed out for our walk again we stopped by to say thank you with a cake. The lovely lady was not at home but we did get to say hello to her husband. As I think back on the short break we had from city life, this incident stands out. Kindness and compassion for one another other cuts across all barriers.

Sometimes it’s actions that speak volumes, but words matter too. I am reminded of a quote from the movie Dead Poets Society “No matter what anybody tells you words and ideas can change the world”. Just like the gift of a few karela, a coconut and a pink rose reached across the road and connected our two families, words have the power of bridging divides and connecting people.

My favourite definition of public relations connects beautifully with this idea of actions and words and how powerful they can be. “PR is doing good and then getting credit for it.” This idea of being the author of action that can then be communicated and amplified to reach a wider group of stakeholders to create mutual understanding is the foundation on which the profession stands.

I was recently exposed to the concept of systemic change and ‘Theory U’ in the context of coaching. Otto Scharmer who is the author of Theory U says it’s about creating an open mind, heart, and will. That is moving from being closed and defensive in each of these three levels to a more open spot. As we open up to others to understand their perspective and not just see the world through one lens (ours), change is possible. The shift in our mindset towards a stranger walking on the road, with a simple greeting and a smile opens up the possibilities for connecting and living in harmony with each other. May we all open our minds, hearts and wills to each other in meaningful ways in the year ahead.