As this is my 60th article in the ‘Destination Mindset’ column, I thought that we change my approach a bit. All this while we have been focussing on positive mindsets, their benefits and simple ways to evolve to a desired and improved mindset. In my next few articles lets focus on negative mindsets and how we can overcome them. Otherwise, some of these positive mindsets that we evolve to, can get completely negated when some of these toxic mindsets dominate and control our mind. Some of these negative mindsets are ‘inborn’ and we are much hardwired with them. But as each day is a new start – let’s control and manage these harmful mindsets which inflict negative manifestations on you and others.
Anger is the most negative quality in human beings. Every human being is born with negative qualities, its how we control and manage these negative qualities that makes us the human being we become. Loosing your temper can trigger a nuclear bomb of negativity in your surroundings. Most importantly chaos clouds our brain and we lose sight of sense and sensibility. We utter words that we would never utter normally and behave in a complete toxic manner, damaging relationships forever. Uncontrollable anger is a potent poison for our health and leads to extremely negative consequences.
What are the basic methods of eliminating an anger mindset?
Develop patience as a habit
Patience is the fuse of the human body system. If we get impatient, stress gets us to get more impatient. Our blood pressure rises and slowly we go to a fight or flight mode. We start being rude and others respond by being rude too. Remember, you always get what you give! Then your patience fuse blows and anger takes over. Remember, every argument in anger fuels more anger and eventually raging fury erupts.
Develop patience by being calm and composed. Situations do not spark off anger, how you react to situations ignites the flame. You could also practice meditation or even see a therapist if you are naturally short tempered. Patience takes effort. Constraint and control are the keys.
Hit the pause button
Be watchful and foresee your irritation before you lose your temper and hit the pause button. Its even better if you move out of the location completely and excuse yourself. Go to the washroom or even call your best friend to calm down. But the objective should be clear. Your pause button is to reduce your ire, not add fire to it! You should also if you can just do deep breathing or even drink water. Whatever works for you
How you respond in anger can never be wiped out. It’s like what appears on the internet which is almost impossible to delete. The best way for you is to control any anger outbursts. Relationships are very fragile, especially nowadays, difficult to build but can be destroyed forever with one small incident. Pause and win.
Be careful of what you speak
Words trigger responses, sometimes even our body language does. Unknown to us we sometimes say words while speaking to others which are demeaning and hurtful. Words too once uttered cannot be retrieved. It’s best that we are mindful of what we say and how. Sometimes our days don’t go well and we are upset. Personal angst should never creep into the work space and vice versa. We all face problems, disappointments and negative situations in life. But this is the right time to be careful and keep a watch on our tempers. Anger is a one sided venting out of your own emotional reactions, however you bring more anger traffic your way once you start venting out. The other person may not be patient and counter vent, and then a chain reaction begins. Yes, sometimes people need to face reality and negative feedback but they will accept it much better when you speak to them in a calm and cool manner.
“Anger blows out the lamp of the mind.” Robert G. Ingersoll
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