The third point of the triangle

Three voices I heard over the last few weeks seemed to say the same thing. Let me connect the dots and see if I can triangulate on an insight that stays with me.

The penny drop moment. In a world that is polarised between two points of view being the person that creates the third point enables a triangle that connects the two polarised positions. (This is something I learnt courtesy Penney Pierce). What does it mean to me? An elevated position creates a different energy that allows two people to see each other’s positions in the context of a larger view. The top of the triangle helps frame and connect the other two points. Allowing them to be where they are but seeing that they are part of something bigger and connected. An insight that allows me to ask myself questions like these….

How do you want to be in a meeting?

How do you want to be with your team?

How do you want to be with your boss?

How do you want to be with your spouse?

How do you want to be with your child?

Notice how none of this is about what I will do in each of these situations. The doing emerges from the being. Can I choose to bring an energy that expands the possibilities? The answer is always “Yes I can”. That choice is mine.

A glimpse of enlightenment. This one is from Erika Hsu. She talks about Light vs Fire. What did I learn from her? We find our light and then we get scared, that with it, will come fire that will burn us and hence we extinguish it. We touch our light and then instinctively recoil. Note to myself, do not be afraid to allow my light to shine. The fire is there but it will not hurt me, it is what will keep me going when times get tough.

The law of gravity. This analogy is from Gaur Gopal Das. It’s simple, gravity will pull anything down. It’s a law of nature. Similarly, our problems keep pulling us down and yet we must get up and walk towards the light. It takes effort and energy to counter the force of gravity, and attention is what enables us to shift the direction of our focus. Where our attention goes, there our energy flows.

Living a good life, needs us to want to touch the light inside each one of us, to keep getting up and going in search of it, even when it feels like there is a force that is holding us back. This is just nature at work and our nature to seek out the best in ourselves and let it shine is equally natural. Step into your light. Allow your natural self to shine bright and know that it’s a burning desire inside each one of us that will not hurt. The opposite will happen it will create ease and flow.

What hurts is being burnt by layers of inauthenticity that sear our souls if we try being someone or something that we are not. Ease into yourself and the fire will burn bright and beautiful, warming yourself and those around you. This is the energy that you need to tap into and allow to flow from within, creating that glow that others feel when you are with them.

The dots from three different sources connect and there is light at the end of the tunnel. Like a prism, there are seemingly so many wonderful colours of light that can shine through if I allow it. This is the power that public relations can unlock if it embraces authenticity and helps shape reputation from the inside out. This is the journey coaching takes an individual on, an exploration of the inner self to then help the person better shape their outer journey in the world. Once again, the two worlds I love, communication and coaching converge and my light shines bright. The dots are connecting and I am triangulating my next steps. Where they lead me, I know not, but what I do know is that I’m heading in the right direction.


The views and opinions published here belong to the author and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the publisher.

Nikhil Dey
Nikhil Dey is Executive Director, Adfactors PR.

A trusted coaching and communications professional, Nikhil Dey is a certified life and leadership coach (International Coach Federation - ICF). Nurturing talent and helping clients achieve their goals is what makes him happy. He loves learning from students of communication, teaching courses and guest lecturing at various educational institutions. When he is not working you will find him on the tennis court or out for long walks with his family and four legged friends.

Previously he has held senior leadership positions at Weber Shandwick and Genesis BCW.

He can be reached on twitter @deydreaming

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