To be seen, I must be visible. To see myself, I need stillness (and that often makes me less visible).
On one hand, there is the need to keep moving. To show up and to show myself and what I offer to the world. Conditioned by an always-on, AI-enhanced, productivity and efficiency-obsessed world, which only has one metric – be successful (in a conventional ‘on the cover of a magazine’, ‘billionaire or bust’ type vibe)
On the other hand, there is a need to pause and listen to myself. To settle into a calm and quiet place, to watch the world go by, and then allow myself to emerge. I discovered how hard it is to press pause and just ‘be’ during a listening circle. The exercise was simple. The staying still or the pause was not.
“Look at a picture and just be. If you feel like it, after a bit of being with the picture, write down your thoughts.” The 10 minutes of stillness and silence felt like an eternity. I had turned off my camera so nobody in the listening circle could see me fidget. Three times I picked up my phone. First, a quick check of emails, then a dip into Instagram, and finally a look at LinkedIn and WhatsApp. It was only at the end of the listening circle that I found true connection with myself and the others (in a few minutes of shared silence), which felt incredible.
When I go out of sight, I often get an insight. This inner knowing and getting back in touch with my true self is the true source of energy that powers my actions when I emerge into the world again. Dropping out of sight and delving deep into oneself is the surest way that I have experienced of having a reservoir of sustainable and renewable energy.
This Ying and Yang is important. Only insight with no action does not allow growth. Just frantic and relentless action often does not get us where we are meant to be. Rebalancing is what comes to mind; think of wheel balancing that centres your car and allows it to drive better.
The more I chase, the more I disconnect from my true self. Do more, be more visible, achieve more, own more…. the mores never end well for me. Ironically, when I stop seeking more external gratification and just show up as me, I often find that there is enough for me and all those around me.
Letting go of my not-enough-ness, by asking the question “What is ‘enough’ for me? This dance between ‘being seen’ and ‘seeing myself’ is what helps re-balance, reenergise, realign, and sometimes completely reset.
And somewhere in between these two worlds. The inner one of being and the outer one of successful doing is where the living happens. This week, I was present in wonder and connection with a group of people who created an online listening circle where the silence spoke loudly to me. A reminder to pause and listen to myself and all the significant others in my work and life.
Much of life is dedicated to either end of the spectrum, relinquishing or untangling from the doing to go deep within, which is at one end (seeing). Then racing out into the world in a frenzy of doing to achieve and win, the match, the love, the money, or whatever is the metric of success that appeals (being seen).
Is it possible to find balance? I would like to think yes. To me, that balance is found in the understanding of both the inner and the outer worlds. When there is alignment between these two worlds, there is balance. The outer journey is rooted in my true north. Or the inner journey anchored by my outer world.
From this place of whole and completeness and deep purpose, a strong reputation is built. Others know you and see you and can find you, because you have found yourself and paused at regular intervals to know yourself. For an organisation, this clarity of purpose is the guiding light that enables aligned decision-making. What should the firm do? What should it not do? How does it show up for and with its stakeholders? This is the DNA of good decision making and taking the right decisions lead to a good reputation.
Along with the right actions being taken, truly listening to oneself and others is fundamental to effective communication. The listening circle was a wonderful reminder that when people come together in a structured gathering and take turns in sharing their thoughts while everyone listens fully, without interrupting or judgment, allowing all perspectives to emerge, it can be an enriching experience. The purpose of a strong reputation is that it often translates into an organisation being welcomed and valued. The professional PR practitioner would do well to reconnect with the importance of listening. To be truly seen by others, an organisation needs to first listen to itself and its stakeholders.
I am grateful that the listening circle reconnected me to the power of the pause. Amid many unanswered questions and the many places of not knowing or not knowing enough, I find myself currently able to move forward. What makes this possible? It is the knowledge and the feeling that I am in the right place, on the right path. I embrace another day, another week, another month… doing my best, being me, and feeling my way into the future.
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