An 18-hour flight, done in two nine-hour legs, with a three-hour stopover in Frankfurt to stretch our legs was how the week began. The theme of creating space, needing space and giving space, seems to be the message from the universe. That short stop, punctuating our journey from Delhi to Chicago, gives us the space to recharge before charging on.
Preparing for a thanksgiving meal, I was given the advice “skip breakfast” keep space for what’s about to come. The calorific onslaught that followed would not have been possible to navigate, unless that space had been kept.
My son got married a few days ago. Preparing for a wedding toast, I found this wisdom from Kahlil Gibran” Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts . And stand together yet not too near together, For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”
Creating space for forward movement and growth seems to cut across all aspects of life. We are social beings, in search of meaning and connection. That’s what brings us together. That’s why we travel and get together for thanksgiving and if we are lucky find that special someone to make a life with.
The coming together also creates the need for space, too much togetherness causes problems. The need to withdraw and find some alone time. The need to create boundaries and assert my individuality is the space that allows the togetherness to flourish. Making space for another in my life needs me to make space for myself and for them.
This need for space is not well understood. We want the togetherness intutively. We seek the connecting. We seek the adventure of travel. We seek companionship and love. We congregation and celebrate around a table sharing food and stories. This comes naturally to us. What we must learn is to create the space to allow all of this to be sustainable and enjoyable.
Rainer Maria Rilke says “We need, in love, to practice only this: letting each other go. For holding on comes easily; we do not need to learn it.” Giving ourselves and each other the space we need is a skill worth mastering.
How does all of this connect to communications and coaching? In these context’s, space is about silence and listening. When to remain quiet? When saying nothing allows what wants to emerge, to emerge.
Music teaches us the importance of the silence between notes. The pause that accentuates. The change in tone and volume and cadence that underscores. The silence that allows an insight to emerge, and that which was not felt or seen or appreciated before to burst forth.
All of this is the space where magic happens. And the game of life continues, enriched by that space.
Don’t forget to make some space for whatever needs it in your life.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The views and opinions published here belong to the author and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the publisher.
