I came across a post about an African traveller who, after a sustained period of rapid travel, insisted on stopping. When asked why, the response was “I am waiting for my soul to catch up”. I’m not sure this tale is true or where it came from, but its moral appeals to me. The need to pause, reflect, integrate, and then move forward knocked on my door last week.
The temptation to lurch from one crisis to the next and devote all my time and attention to solving the “big problem” (often triggered by an external development) can, over time, create a bigger problem. Losing sight of who I am and what’s important to me, when in service of the larger need of others.
The duality of attending to myself and my needs so that I can better serve those that need me is something that I lost sight of for a while. I needed to pause and let my soul catch up with me. Many years ago in a coaching conversation, my then coach asked me, “What did you do last week that you really wanted to do?” I did not have a convincing answer. Everything I offered was dismissed as not the right answer. She said that you did as a good father, son, husband, friend, colleague, boss, or some role that you see yourself playing. What did you do for you? Not finding anything that satisfied her as a credible answer, she then changed the question to “what would you do…”.
And I said, “I would play tennis…”. For close to 15 years, she permitted me to gift myself the time to play this wonderful game. A few years ago, for various reasons, I stepped off the court. I am happy to report I stepped back into the arena on Saturday morning. I am allowing my soul to catch up with me.
The “doing well” versus “feeling well” dance is not a new one for me. My need to perform well on all aspects of my life is a strength. It works as long as I stay aligned to my skills, values, and purpose. The importance of pausing at regular intervals to ensure my soul catches up keeps me heading in the right direction.
I think of it in terms of clear PR goals, or clarity of the contracting phase in a coaching engagement. When the ask is clear, the task is clear. Then the performance is not about optics but rooted in real impact.
Clarity of purpose always requires me to look within and examine what the soul is saying. Performing well makes me feel well (except when it is performative). Dancing to the tune of others and dancing to my own tune can align, and when this happens, there is balance, sustained energy, and growth.
Dancing to others’ tunes can be seen as being successful and doing well, but if misaligned with what my soul wants, it does not always leave me feeling well. The soul always knows. Pause and listen, make the time and space to allow your soul to catch up. The shift from a life of ‘performing’ to one of ‘high performance’ comes from an alignment of the soul (inner me) with the outward journey.
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