Don’t forget to CC me

Let go of my need to control. Let out the creator in me. That is the message the universe sent me this week. I was CC’d on this memo. It was the gift I received in a coaching session with a client. At the end of an hour spent exploring various nuances of what causes “blockages” in our lives and the “walls – imagined or real” that often stand in the way of us getting what we want, this was the one clear takeaway. Stop controlling and start creating. 

Control. Let go of the illusion of control. I love building teams and pride myself on this ability. It’s one of the reasons why I love consultancy life so much. The size of the team and the canvas to explore all aspects of team building is much larger than what a corporate communication role normally offers. Last week we planned our first leadership team lunch meeting in over a year. What made it special was the organic way in which the plan evolved and the fact that the team wanted to meet. I was so very much looking forward to the occasion and as if to remind me that I am not in control and I never was, I woke up with a high fever that morning. I missed the team lunch. I hope I was missed at the team lunch. But I reminded myself that I must not get into the grips of control. The need to control takes control of me and I lose control. If I give in to the need to stay in control then I am driven by the need and I am not in the driving seat.

How quickly can I accept my new reality? Quarantined and confined to a room. Instead of out for a team lunch. Wishing I was there and wanting to be there are fine. But the key question is, now that I realise I cannot be there what am I going to do? Who am I going to be in the week of isolation? What will I create from the confines of these four walls?

Create. Hold on to the privilege of being a creator. This is how to have my hands on the steering wheel. I choose what I want to create and where I want to create it. I want to create a winning team. A team that believes in itself enjoys playing the game. That has enough players to keep playing strong when a few are not on the field. Creating a psychologically safe space to work. Creating a nurturing environment that seeks to find the best talent of each team member and allow them to play to that strength. That is a wonderful space to aim to create. Holding space in a coaching session for a team of two or creating a safe space for a team of 250 colleagues both give me as much joy and satisfaction. Creating a game-changing communication campaign for a client because we spent enough time at the start defining the goals and arriving at an insight that led to a creative solution. Supporting a client through a tough situation and being there during a crisis to help them navigate the storm and emerge stronger on the other side. By doing the right things and making things right. These are all manifestations of being in creator mode for me. 

On this journey called life, I realise there will be ups and downs. Creating my way through both the highs and lows seems to be a creative solution that has helped me navigate the various turns in the road as well as enjoy the scenic open highways on occasion. As my test results confirm what I already knew and I pop another pill to keep the fever down, a wonderful reminder to me from my creator. I got the message loud and clear – CC message has been received with gratitude. 

The best way to dig me out of a crater is to be a creator. It does not matter if the crater that I find myself in is one of my creations or due to the external environment. I cannot control what made the hole or how big it is. I just need to create a way out of it. I need to tap into my natural skills and talents and create something new today. This C is in me and on me. The other C that gets in the way is that of Control. That Control C is draining and repeatedly efforts to exert control remind me that I am failing, the Creator C is energising and always opens a door to what is or what could be next. 

Don’t wait. Create. Vs. Create while you wait. Never stop creating. Creating is the work of creative people. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. We all have creativity inside of us. It manifests differently. Each one of us is special and unique. Put here for a purpose. Finding what that purpose is and walking that path consciously is a creative pursuit in itself. Find your song and press play. Making music is as much for you as others. So, don’t wait, create. And if by some chance you are in the “I’m still trying to figure out what my music is, no worries…even when you hit the pause button to figure out your ‘what next’, create, while you wait. In both cases keep creating. One step at a time, one day at a time. Let your creativity flow. 

The views and opinions published here belong to the author and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the publisher.

Nikhil Dey
Nikhil Dey is Executive Director, Adfactors PR.

A trusted coaching and communications professional, Nikhil Dey is a certified life and leadership coach (International Coach Federation - ICF). Nurturing talent and helping clients achieve their goals is what makes him happy. He loves learning from students of communication, teaching courses and guest lecturing at various educational institutions. When he is not working you will find him on the tennis court or out for long walks with his family and four legged friends.

Previously he has held senior leadership positions at Weber Shandwick and Genesis BCW.

He can be reached on twitter @deydreaming

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