I woke up on a cold, foggy winter Saturday morning and said to my wife, “I feel like having a hot masala dosa”. She said, “Let’s go to Naivedyam.” (A South Indian restaurant in Gurugram). I told her it was not feasible as I had coaching sessions lined up for the day. It could have ended there, but I’m glad to report that a dosa, Upma, and filter coffee were had.
How did this moment of joy find a way to come to my table? First, I paid attention to a fleeting feeling and shared it. Second, my wife was open to giving me attention and helped me break my mental barrier about being too busy. I had dismissed the idea of squeezing that extra hour into an already packed day, but she helped me see that it was possible.
We had a lovely trip down memory lane, remembering the days when my office used to be in the same building complex as the restaurant. Revisiting areas that our (then little) son used to run around in the courtyard and having a conversation which would not have happened if we had been at home. We paid attention to each other, and we grabbed an hour of joy.
I was invited to speak at an industry event; my panel was on the first day back in India after a whirlwind trip to the US. Jet lag and lots of pending work awaited; it would have been easy to say no. I’m glad I accepted the invitation, not only did I meet many peers from the industry, but listening to other talk opened up new avenues of thinking. I plugged back into the work world and felt grateful for the opportunity. My time on stage helped me articulate a message to myself about how I chose to use AI in my work – “Delegate, don’t Abdicate” is how I phrased it. The work is mine to do and will continue to be, ownership and accountability for outcomes rests on my shoulders. Another hour of enjoyment, reconnecting with peers, under the belt.
A year-end listening circle proved to be most enriching. It helped me pay attention to myself. An hour of sharing and reflecting about the year that went by left me with the insight that relationships are what held me, and investing in people is what gives me joy. In the midst of so many different pulls and pushes for my attention, I chose to offer an hour to reflection. Listening to others, their journeys, trials & tribulations, and how they are responding, made me feel less alone. I embraced that hour and it gave me joy and gratitude.
It reminded me about many moments in the year that were beautiful. Moments that promise to become dearly held memories down the road. All of these moments were those where I was present and showed up with my full attention.
Attention and joy connect both my professional worlds of communication and coaching. PR is about earned attention and creating experiences that help stakeholders connect with each other. Coaching is about offering a client the chance to pay attention to what’s really going on inside, connect to their authentic selves and equipped with that insight, live a more aligned life. In both worlds, when done right, this alignment makes the world a better place to be in.
A reminder to myself to pay attention to what sparks joy in me and others. To be aware of the energy I carry with me into a meeting or a family engagement. Those invisible energy tentacles that surround me pull others either into a warm embrace and lift them up or ensnare them and pull them down.
The quality of attention and joy together add up to what I call my presence. Like fitness needs to be worked upon, presence also benefits from doing the reps. I don’t just get the ability to do 50 push-ups or serve aces at will. I need to put in the hours, practice, warm up, and work out.
Why do I then expect to just show up at a meeting and expect a great outcome? Or arrive at a family function and have a great time. If I don’t put in the work to be fully present before the meeting or the occasion, the quality of my presence is left to chance. But if I pay attention to this intangible and yet so very important quality, it’s possible to get so much more out of life.
Where attention goes, energy flows. Each of us can step into the warm currents of an upward spiral if we pay attention and embrace the right things and be with people that energise us. Hold on to the moments that help spark joy and carry those into your world. Better still, gift your attention to things and people that deserve it. May we all have a merry Christmas and a joyful year ahead.
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