Siren Vs. Silence. Last week, I found myself in an ambulance, the siren blaring nonstop, racing along the familiar roads of Chennai in an unfamiliar space. The inside of the ambulance may be designed for the patient who is strapped to the stretcher-like bed, but it is certainly not made for the person sitting sideways on a narrow little seat with nothing to hang onto, other than prayers, as we swerved our way forward.
Drama draws attention. Flashing lights, loud blaring noise, and the big bold sign in the vehicle are all designed to let others know that they should give way. Silence does not get the same reaction. Maybe this is the way of the world. It does not move unless you bend it to your will with a bit of drama? Or maybe not. Sometimes silence can be as powerful.
We finally reached the hospital, and the patient was wheeled in and whisked behind closed doors. We were left in the midst of others lost in their own worlds of pain and hope, waiting in silence. I was roused from my ruminating when a nurse came looking for the attendant. (I have found that different hospitals have different names for the person with a patient: bystander, caregiver, companion, guardian).
“You need to sign some papers, sir…”. I walked towards the nurse’s desk, wondering what this was all about. I was handed a paper that had the words “Very High Risk… at the top and then saw them pointing to a place at the bottom of the page for my signature. On most occasions (I am not proud to say), I have been known to skip through the long ‘terms and conditions’ that every tech major and bank has got me to sign, clueless about what I have consented to.
This time was different. I had questions. Many of them. I needed to know what I was agreeing to. I was not going to be a bystander; I was going to be the guardian. As a caregiver, there are many different roles one has to play. Being vigilant and asking the right questions at the right time is one of them.
The nurse was out of depth; she did not know enough to give me clarity, so I waited till a lady appeared, who began to explain to me what the concerns were. Interestingly, they too had questions that needed to be answered before we progressed with the procedure. And in the absence of those answers, there was a higher risk than normal. In her own silent way, the lady had raised her voice, without drama. Just a red flag raised, in the form of a form. A way of saying “there are some questions that need to be answered and we should not move forward with those insights and inputs”. Because she stopped and asked those questions, I was asked to sign the form. Because I stopped and asked more questions about what I was signing, we sought more answers and finally reassured that it was okay to proceed, we did. I am happy to report that all is well that ends well for the week that has gone by.
This episode leaves me with the reminder that sometimes drama speaks loudly, and at other times, the system silently does its work. Checks and balances exist to prevent unnecessary drama. We often get drawn in by the drama and don’t notice the quiet depth with which a system and process work. Most important is the role of the caregiver, companion, bystander, and attendant who plays all these roles and more – ask the question.
In a completely different context, I am part of an industry association, which recently held its chapter elections. I witnessed a senior leader ask some very difficult questions about due diligence in the voting process, and the subsequent drama caused. Standing firm behind one’s beliefs and having the strength to keep asking hard questions is put to the test in so many different situations. The true character of an individual or an institution shows itself in these moments.
In the world of reputation, a crisis is often averted because one person asked the right question. It is most difficult to do, especially when everyone else in a room is aligned. They tell you in many ways, “it’s ok, this is the way things are done here,” or they say “it will be fine, don’t worry,” and most times it is. But that one time it’s not, is the time when a crisis erupts and reputation is tarnished. This is me saying thank you to that lady for raising the red flag and asking the hard questions in her own quiet way. While she added a dose of drama to my day, I am grateful for her vigilance and commitment to doing the right thing and doing things the right way.
In coaching, too, I have experienced the power of silence and the right questions. Interestingly, they often lead to some drama post-session, but the seed of action was planted when the question was asked. It grew in the silence of the space created and then, post-session, burst forth into the world of doing. Often, this action can cause or catalyse much drama.
In crisis communications, coaching, or in life, here is me reminding myself to always have the courage to speak out. To ask questions and do what’s right in my own quiet way. Sometimes it will create drama. Sometimes it will help avoid it. In times of sirens or silence, the questions must be asked. Ask the hard questions. Sometimes loudly. Sometimes softly. But ask.
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