Winging my way back to Delhi from Mumbai on a morning flight, I was reminded how energising a good conversation can be for me. It all started with me buckling myself into my seat (but with the wrong seat belt). I had inadvertently used the buckle that belonged to the passenger seated next to me. He noticed, politely tapped me on the arm, and said (with a smile), “You seem to have used my seat belt…”
I apologised, and a few moments later we were both belted up and ready for take-off. In all probability, I would have slept through most of the flight (and so would he, methinks) if it were not for the ice breaker moment of the mixed-up seat belt, which got us talking.
I noticed he had a brown paper bag of food packed, and I asked him, “So what’s for breakfast?” “Curd rice,” he said. “That’s an unusual choice for breakfast…” and before we knew it, an hour had passed, and we chatted about so many different things. (If you’re wondering, the reason he had curd rice for breakfast was that he had not slept all night and wanted to have something light in the stomach.
My new friend, let’s call him Dr. Psych, is currently a GP and is studying to become a psychiatrist. We found common ground and an interest in mental health. I helped him understand a bit about the world of coaching, and he opened up the world of medical care to me.
Our conversation meandered into different spaces, and he was as keen to know about my world as I was about his. A chance encounter that the universe conspired to make happen is how I see this.
There is such a thin line that separates us from each other. Maybe our worlds will remain connected, maybe I will never see or speak with Dr. Psych again. Maybe our conversation will inform and change the course of our lives in some small or big way, or maybe not. The one thing I am sure of is that I enjoyed the conversation. It made me feel better about myself and the world I live in.
Meaningful social connections are so important. This is one of the important roles public relations plays, the profession aims to create a two-way connection channel between an organisation and its publics. Building a bridge of connection between people is what makes the world a better place. Building a bridge of connection between my inner world and my outward journey is what coaching is all about. Finding these connections. Helping others find these connections. Being a connector of dots seems like a good way to live life.
I am also reminded of a movie (I forget which one) that introduced me to the BINI principle. Be Interested, Not Interesting. Genuine interest in another is so precious. Dr. Psych and I enjoyed our conversation because we were both interested in learning a bit about each other’s worlds. Here is me reminding myself that the world is full of interesting people and things, and if I’m open, connections emerge.
From time to time, unfasten the seat belt, break the ice, and initiate a conversation. Remember, it’s not just what you say, but how you say it that matters. Dr. Psych could have been curt or irritated when he found his seat belt had been usurped by me. Instead, he chose a smile, which invited me to engage with him. Ask “what’s in the brown paper bag?” and you may be surprised by what you find inside.
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