Gemütlich (German) means comfortable, cosy, pleasant, and friendly, describing a feeling of warmth, well-being, and contentment, often associated with a cosy, inviting atmosphere, good company, or a relaxed place, like a snug living room or a cheerful café. It implies a sense of belonging and being at ease, good for the heart and soul.
Pronounced guh-MOOT-likh, this delightful word was introduced to me by a lovely couple, David and Catherine, who were guests at our homestay in the week after my dad passed on.
They walked into my Dad’s den (pic of mum and dad in the den) and slipped into it like a comfortable pair of pyjamas. This is when they shared the word gemütlich with me (because they felt it) and the story of how they met, on a bus trip together to learn German, and much more about their lives.
We spent the evening in a gemütlich place and space, chatting like old friends, even though we had just met. It was a special evening where the three of us shared stories, went down our own memory lanes, and it felt like we were being held by Dad’s invisible presence.
A week later, I read a quote by Mother Teresa, “The biggest disease today is not leprosy or TB, it’s the feeling of being unwanted.” The feeling of not belonging is a human condition. The desire to belong to someone, to some place, to something bigger than oneself. This deep need to belong, a longing if you will, is a lifelong quest.
As I found my way back into the world of work, two days of busyness engulfed me. I found myself facilitating a workshop called the ‘Voice of leaders’ which proved to be a great way to fill the void of emptiness that I wake upto in the morning. It stopped me from asking myself, “Where do I belong?” And “Who are my people?” The reason I was energised by this experience is that it was two days spent in alignment with my core purpose. I was doing work that strengthened my sense of self.
Like I must focus on getting busy with the right intention, companies and brands must not mistake visibility for connection. True stakeholder engagement creates a sense of belonging. The definition of PR highlights creating mutual benefit between an organisation and its stakeholders. This engagement is what builds alignment and trust.
Finding that gemütlich feeling, I realised, is not always easy, but it does feel right. Sometimes the harder path is the one that eventually makes me feel like I chose the right one. Getting into the right mind space required to deliver a good workshop took a lot of effort. But in the end, I was doing work that mattered for people who cared. I was helping them find their leadership voice and, in doing so, giving space for mine to emerge.
The dance between who I am versus who others want me to be is a delicate one to navigate.
“If I do this, they will like me…. If I do that, they will value me.” All true. But most important is to be true to who I am. Because from that place of inner alignment is where belonging grows. I often tell participants in my workshops. “Find your vibe, and you will find your tribe,” or they will find you. Finding oneself is hard work.
Getting busy can often take me away from my true self if I am not careful. It’s possible to be busy doing my life’s work and being myself. It is also very easy to lose my way and get into a busyness that numbs. It takes honest reflection and hard work to stay on the path to myself.
I can only truly tell another “I got you” when I get myself.
I long to belong, most of all to my true self. Finding my way home is about ‘being me’ and ‘doing me’. Following my North Star so that on every step of the journey, I’m walking myself and others home. May each step we take move us toward our place of gemütlich.
