I settled into the comfortable back seat of my car, put on my seatbelt, found a podcast to keep me company, and closed my eyes. More than the comfort of the sofa-like seat that the Škoda superb has, the real comfort was having Jagat back at the wheel, which I eased back into.
Jagat has been at the steering wheel of all our cars for over 20 years. He joined us on the first day we moved to Delhi (courtesy a friend’s recommendation), even before my car arrived. The ease and comfort of having his non-intrusive and warm presence is truly a privilege and a blessing our family enjoys.
For the last year or so, due to his ill health, I was either driving myself or being driven by people other than Jagat. Sometimes it would be an Uber, and for a while, it was another driver who had the skill but lacked the will to fit into our family. Finding the right fit is so important. This individual, let’s call him Speedo, was an excellent driver. He was smart, knew how to use Google Maps, knew more about the car than I did, and got me wherever I needed to go super-fast. Speedo also unfortunately got on my nerves, too. I will not waste more time on what did not work, except to say that the better driver (in terms of skill) is not always the best fit for me and my family. The better driver for me is the one who gets me from point A to B with care and makes me feel at ease.
When I reach the airport, knowing Jagat is there waiting to pick me up, makes me feel like I’m coming home. He is “my people,” and I know he has my back. He has seen my son grow up, he knows our entire family, we have history together, the good kind. When he has been in a tough spot, we have stood by him, and when we have needed to be held, he has held the steering wheel and more. He is part of our family, and the relationship we share holds both of us and our families.
In the context of Public Relations, it’s a good reminder that one should not always look only at the “better metrics”. Which influencers have the larger reach? Who can get us likes and engagement faster? Which publication has more circulation? All of this does matter, but in the long run, what matters more is with whom an organisation shares a mutually beneficial relationship? Who will represent the honest version (good and bad), not just the most sensational post for short-term gain? Building a set of relationships with people that matter is old-school PR, but even in a new era, some old-fashioned relationship building holds strong. Knowing who you can trust and who can trust you is more precious now than ever before.
The same holds in the world of coaching, the bigger name, the better credentialed coach may not be the one that’s best for me. I need to find the one who makes me feel comfortable, who can challenge me and yet make me feel safe, the one whose “presence” makes me better.
Jagat’s presence in my life is invaluable. The feeling of being known, seen, and valued is what he brings with him when he is in the driving seat. He has recovered from his brush with ill health, and it has changed him a bit, but the essence remains. As he was driving me to work, like he has done hundreds of times before, the podcast I was listening to ended, and I scrolled through Instagram to find a post about ‘Ichigo Ichie’ and learnt that it is a Japanese phrase capturing the idea that no two moments are the same.
Ichigo Ichie is a lovely reminder to help me hold on to the new and familiar feeling of having Jagat at the wheel. It means “one time, one meeting” and expresses the feeling that each encounter or moment is unique and will never happen again. In coaching we are taught to approach every session with “a beginners eyes of innocence”. Entering the conversation with the belief that this is a unique situation and in many ways it mirrors the idea of no two moments being the same.
It reminded me that my drive to work with Jagat at the wheel was similar to many other days, but different. Both of us have changed so many times and in so many ways; it was he driving me to work again, but it was a special new moment for both of us to be grateful for.
I am so very happy to have him back in the driving seat and for the feeling he gifted me on that special morning on my way to work, that all was well in my world. Who knows what tomorrow will bring, but I shall meet the moment with the wisdom of ‘Ichigo Ichie’.
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