Hi there! Meet, me, myself and I

Have you ever met anyone who has introduced themselves to you like this?

May not be because actually no one will. Or maybe a few daring ones will. Communication experts for whom Reputation Today is actually meant, will surely agree with me about this statement I am going to make. Perceptions are created with your behaviour and how you are seen in action. Talking about how we are so essentially hard wired about things we cannot rewire; extreme self-centeredness is another trait which dictates your nature. Therefore, like the two other such traits I mentioned before like being a hardwired impulsive person or having a short fuse temper, this trait needs to be managed by increasing your self-awareness and consciousness.

Being extremely self-centered by nature can come in the way of various positively disruptive mindsets and leadership skills as at a point you will continue to put yourself ahead of anything. The word ‘mutual’ will play a dismal role in your life. Yes, one’s own self and what we can get is a key driver in human life. But extreme of anything can be harmful. Extreme self-centeredness actually works against your own self as nothing can be achieved without other people. Here is how you can identify this trait easily in yourself and consciously reduce it to your benefit.

My way or no way

You naturally take this posture if you are a domain expert for example you are a surgeon, leading a major surgery. But there are many you will find around you, either at work or at play who want things to go their way or not do it at all. This is not just being stubborn. But plain speak ‘self-centeredness’. The unfortunate part of being like this is that very few want to be part of your life. I don’t know about you but I have seen professional leaders or people with responsibilities even in social organisations failing in their roles. Instead of your way or no way, try looking at our way or no way. Make working together or even having fun together sometimes as the choice of others. You will find greater acceptance, fulfilment and above all, success.

I do not believe in empathy

If you are in marketing or especially in PR, you will find it almost impossible to function or achieve success as a hard-wired self-centered person by nature. As you need to go beyond your self-centeredness to understand other people and then cater to their needs or in communications, create campaigns that appeal to them and influence brand favour and purchase decisions. You make friends and align more with people when you can literally put yourself in their shoes. In today’s days where mental health is taking a beating, you actually need to get into not only their shoes but their socks too! There is a small exercise you need to do each time someone tells you about their problems. Sincerely hear them out and feel it as if it happened to you. Become a good listener!

Of course, I always want to be the centre of attraction

Essentially self-centered people always want to be the centre of attraction. Do you behave like this all the time? Such people even bring anything being discussed back to themselves and just dominate conversations. Conversations and interactions are basically a two-way exchange. Its called dialogue where everyone contributes to the subject and share views. When you are all about ‘me, myself and I ‘you convert conversations or dialogues to monologues! The solution for this core state of mind is to trigger the most important part of communications- active listening. Life is not all about only your accomplishments or problems. When you always want to be the centre of attraction you will gradually feel that people drift to other conversation groups.

The normal reactions of other people to those who are self-centred

Others start keeping boundaries from people like this. They start keeping a distance from them. Sometimes they may even suggest therapy!

‘Self-centered people have only one thing to talk about…. themselves’

Hans. F. Hansen

The views and opinions published here belong to the author and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the publisher.

Amitesh Banerjee
Amitesh is a seasoned positive integrated communications disruptor with several years of multi- country/multi- domain experience. He has worked for reputed organisations in senior leadership positions including JWT, ITC, New Zealand Dairy Board, Seychelles Marketing Board, Perfect Relations, Genesis BCW, Adfactors, Della Group, H+K Strategies among others. Amitesh is Senior Vice President of Beanstalk Asia- a leading Integrated Marketing Communications firm.

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