It is that time of the year when our son is packing his suitcase again and getting set to head out into the arms of the world. I am transported back to January of 2021 – when the world was in the grips of the pandemic and he was heading to the US to begin his college journey. Our overriding thought was “Will he be okay” and then as an afterthought, the realisation dawned “Will we be okay?” an equally important question to ask. I just re-read the article ‘Packing and Unpacking’ and realised that while some of the feelings are the same, it is different this time around.
“A room was going to be empty soon. No boy to nag. To remind him to bathe on time and brush his teeth at bedtime. To go to when I had a tech challenge and ask for help…..” While this feeling of missing having him in our midst, will always remain, something has shifted.
There is an optimism that “we will all be ok” that has emerged, for which I am deeply grateful. He has found his footing in his new world and we have found ours. Change is always knocking on the doors of life and sometimes we let it in while other times it breaks down the door and enters, un-welcomed and often unannounced. Whatever is around the next corner and beyond, we will navigate together even if we are physically apart.
I am reminded of the conversation between the Big Panda and the Tiny Dragon.
“which is more important” asked the Big Panda “The journey or the destination?”
“The company,” said Tiny Dragon.
The company we keep is so important because it influences us in so many ways. In my earlier post, I had also written “We communicate not so much with our words but by our actions. What we tell him is important. But what we have shown him is equally powerful. In PR parlance it’s the ‘show and tell’…” This truth was reinforced when he shared in a conversation with his mother that he had never seen us so committed to our daily exercise routine. He is always watching, absorbing, learning, and unlearning, and so are we.
In the course of the few weeks of spending time with him, we seemed to be able to close some of the gaps that physical distance creates. A drive in the jeep and a wrong turn that got us lost for a while created space for some unplanned father-and-son time. A trip to get his watch links adjusted with his mother gave them the same privilege and the three of us bonded over many enjoyable meals, marvel movies, and long morning walks.
The road ahead will have twists and turns. There will be speed breakers and smooth highways. There will be detours and possibly times when we get completely lost. But we will navigate it all together and remind each other to enjoy the journey. As the Buddha said, “It is better to travel well than to arrive”. May we continue to remind ourselves to travel well into 2024 and beyond.
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A trusted coaching and communications professional, Nikhil Dey is a certified life and leadership coach (International Coach Federation - ICF). Nurturing talent and helping clients achieve their goals is what makes him happy. He loves learning from students of communication, teaching courses and guest lecturing at various educational institutions. When he is not working you will find him on the tennis court or out for long walks with his family and four legged friends.
Previously he has held senior leadership positions at Weber Shandwick and Genesis BCW.
He can be reached on twitter @deydreaming
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