How many meetings are too many?

Three different things happened last week that underlined the importance of creating space for a meeting of minds. They are from different spheres of my life and yet they all point me towards an interesting learning about meetings and the role they play in life and leadership.

My son is graduating in a few months and his job search is in full swing. With so many different demands on his time, he was finding it difficult to create the space to fill in online job applications every week. A typical example of the tussle between urgent and important. Urgent is the assignment that needs to be submitted in two days and the friend’s birthday that is being celebrated tonight. Important are the 7 applications that need to be uploaded. The important often gets pushed down the road at the altar of urgent. An antidote to this, we found was to create two half-hour blocks of time late at night India time (which was his morning in the US) and get into the habit of connecting for 30 minutes on this agenda. Sometimes all I do is be present online with him as he uploads his CV and fills in forms. Sometimes I help by finding a few (I hope) relevant openings and sharing the details with him. He says it helps him stay focused on this task and I am happy to get a chance to spend time with him, so it’s a win-win weekly ritual.

At work, we have a daily morning huddle for about 20 to 30 minutes with our leadership team. The energy and flow of that meeting ebbs and flows depending on who is chairing it. While the broad agenda remains the same, different people in the driving seat have a distinct flavour that they each bring. Again, a powerful reminder about the importance of creating the space and time for a meeting of minds and also how the role of the leader influences the way the group shows up. 

A third instance was to do with a coaching client who was reflecting on how to get a team to understand the importance of a particular subject. The insight that finally helped firm up an action plan was simple. “I need to make sure that my people meet regularly and discuss this topic”. “They need to understand how important this subject is…”. For this to happen, a cadence of pre-planned meetings needed to be initiated with a broad agenda that signalled to the team the importance of making time for this topic.

I keep coming back to this idea “Where attention goes, energy flows”. The role of the leader is to help define where the team’s attention should be directed and then guide and steer the energy that begins to flow. Every action begins as a thought. And for an insightful and aligned thought to emerge, the space to think creatively needs to be created. In coaching parlance, we call this “holding space”. In Leadership parlance we call this a meeting cadence and setting the agenda. We have daily, weekly, monthly, and quarterly meetings of all kinds. Often these become monotonous or boring or taken for granted. No shows go un-noticed or sometimes people notice but no action is taken to ensure attendance. A leader cannot afford to let this happen. Keeping the energy flowing means keeping the attention on the meeting. If the attention wavers, the energy falters.

Making the right space for a meeting of minds is a super important part of what a leader does. People have to show up (physically or online and with the right attitude and orientation). Is your team spaced out and all out of attention? Or are they super engaged and participative? Time to do a quick meeting audit. Which ones are working? Which ones are not? What do you need to change? Is it the agenda that needs a relook? Is it the frequency? Is it the group of attendees that needs to change? Maybe a fresh voice and face at the helm to shift the perspective? Navigating a changing world requires leaders to hold space for their teams.

It’s not the number of meetings, but the quality of engagement in those meetings that make-or-break teams. Make it a point to make the meetings you lead better next week matter. And if you are not the leader, then even more important ask yourself how can you help your leader make the meeting better. After all that is the purpose of most meetings – to help the individual, team, and organisation perform better.

Of all the meetings that happen, possibly a meeting with ourselves is the most important meeting each one of us needs to chair. To hold patience with oneself and others when most tested. To be kind and commanding at the same time. To navigate both victory and loss with composure. All of this and more is possible when we see ourselves clearly. Making the time to “meet with myself” regularly, is a meeting I must put in the calendar and prioritise. A look in the mirror and a chance to see an honest reflection requires time and space. To lead ourselves is to lead others.


The views and opinions published here belong to the author and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the publisher.

Nikhil Dey
Nikhil Dey is Executive Director, Adfactors PR.

A trusted coaching and communications professional, Nikhil Dey is a certified life and leadership coach (International Coach Federation - ICF). Nurturing talent and helping clients achieve their goals is what makes him happy. He loves learning from students of communication, teaching courses and guest lecturing at various educational institutions. When he is not working you will find him on the tennis court or out for long walks with his family and four legged friends.

Previously he has held senior leadership positions at Weber Shandwick and Genesis BCW.

He can be reached on twitter @deydreaming

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