Are you mimicking the right behaviours?

I have a twin. We are not at all alike.

Yet, we do have similarities.

There are times we exclaim in the same way when excited.

We laugh the same laughter.

I often wonder is she mimicking me or am I mimicking her!

Unconsciously or subconsciously, we imbibe the habits and mannerisms of people with whom we are the closest. That includes our leaders and role models.

The chameleon effect

According to psychologists John Bargh and Tanya Chartrand, people tend to act similarly to those they spend time with. This is called as the ‘chameleon effect.’

The chameleon effect refers to non-conscious mimicry of the postures, mannerisms, facial expressions, and other behaviours of one’s interaction partners, such that one’s behaviour passively and unintentionally changes to match that of others in one’s current social environment.

Employees often mimic their leaders. Leaders after all, are role models for their teams.

Mimicking good behaviour can lead to improved social interactions.

However, things can go all haywire if you pick up traits that are not in line with who you really want to be.

For instance, being in the presence of an aggressive leader, the aggression is likely to rub on to the immediate circle. Or, if you been working with a micro manager for a long time, you may pick up that management style and be not aware of it until shown the mirror.

Be conscious of these traits

What then are the traits that we need to be conscious of and steer away from?
What traits can one adopt instead?

Here are a few:

• Not able to handle feedback

Be open to receiving and giving feedback. Make regular feedbacks a part of your professional life.

• Micromanaging

Learn to delegate and empower your team.

• Blaming the team for failures

A good leader takes the blame and shares the fame.

• Being in awe of the designation and title

Your people make you the leader. Remember that.

• Zero accountability/ownership

Own your mistakes and take corrective measures.

• Harping on perfectionism

Find joy in the imperfections. No one is perfect.

• Obsessed with big changes

Focus on small improvements. Slow and steady wins the race.

• No respect for work-life balance

There is always time to prioritise and schedule work.

• Take up every work that comes their way

Learn to say ‘no’. It is the most powerful two letter word.

• Wants to do everything on his/her own

Trust your team, focus on what you are good at, and delegate the rest.

• Meetings, meetings, and more meetings

There are many discussions that can be held over the phone. You don’t need to call for a meeting for just about everything.

• Keeps harping on failures

Yes, it is important to learn from failures but it is equally important to let go of them and focus on the way forward.

• Plays favorites

Treat all your team members with equal respect and appreciate their strengths.

• Will keep information to self

Successful leaders know how to share knowledge and ensure the team is overall aligned.

• Shows aggression

Learn to regulate your emotions. There is no place for hostile behaviour at the workplace.

• Fickle Mindness

Good leaders know how to and when to take decisions.

• No room for appreciation or recognition

The hard work of your employees and team needs to be recognised and appreciated.

• Multitasks all the time

The human brain is not wired to multitask. Learn to focus on one task at a time.

• Not walking the talk

Practice what you preach. You cannot say you believe in work-life balance and yet expect your team to respond to your late night/weekend messages.

A good leader is one who knows her/his blind spots. A good team player is one who recognises the impact of the chameleon effect and focuses on the good traits that need to be imbibed and nurtured.

The views and opinions published here belong to the author and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the publisher.

Sarita Bahl

Sarita Bahl is an alumnus of Tata Institute of Social Sciences and the Swedish Institute of Management Program. An experienced and versatile leader, she comes with nearly four decades of professional experience. She has over the years successfully overseen the communications and public affairs function and led the corporate social responsibility strategy for Bayer South Asia, Pfizer, and Monsanto, among others. Sarita has held multiple roles across diverse industries, the public sector, trade associations, MNCs, and the not-for-profit sector. Her areas of interest include advocacy, stakeholder engagement, sustainability, and communications.

As an Associate Certified Coach (ACC) from the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and Senior Practitioner (Mentoring) from the European Council of Mentoring and Coaching (EMCC), Sarita specializes in career transition, inner engineering and life issues. Sarita enjoys writing and is passionate about animals, books, and movies.