Life has a wonderful way of offering me lessons just when I need them. When I was invited to conduct a workshop by a client, I did not think for a minute that it would offer me an amazing opportunity to learn something new myself. I read somewhere that we design our buildings, and then they start to shape us. This is exactly what happened.
The training was being conducted in a Learning and Development Centre. It was a residential program, and there were four concurrent programs being conducted. As part of an L&D festival, a special program called “Dialogue In The Dark” was being hosted for all participants on campus. I got the opportunity to take off my trainer hat and put on my learner hat and enjoy a truly amazing learning experience.
It turns out that spending an hour and a half not being able to see anything helped me see quite a lot. We had to deposit our phones, smartwatches, and other possessions at the counter outside the “dark room”. I was advised to leave my spectacles behind as well (as they rightly pointed out, they would not be of any use in the darkness). In return, I was given an expandable cane and told that once inside somebody would lead me into the room. A dark tunnel had been created leading to the room. Right hand on the wall, cane in the left, I started tapping my way forward slowly. Shuffling my feet, worried that I would fall, not knowing where I was heading and what lay ahead. “Take my hand,” a voice said. I am going to lead you to your chair. After a few minutes, I was seated. Wondering what lay in store. I closed my eyes and waited. I could hear lots of nervous laughter as others too found their way forward and got seated.
How quickly we adapted to our new environment and our new roles. We were divided into 4 groups and for the next hour and a half played various games in the dark. Without our phones to distract us and no light at the end of the dark tunnel, we found so many learnings together and individually. Each one of us, I am sure will carry this collective experience with us but we will take away different things. The few that stay with me are a feeling of freedom, deep connection, and a reminder of our innate resilience and resourcefulness as a race. The reminder to be empathetic towards others and include each other because we are better and stronger together was the moral of the story.
Freedom is not being watched and judged by myself or others. The journey from fear of the unknown to the peace and calm and freedom of the darkness took just a few minutes. I just had to let go of my worries and biases and allow myself to trust that all would be well. Empathy and connection come from recognising how connected and interdependent we are on one another. I had spent over 9 hours with a group of 20 people in a conference room. We had fun, ate lunch together, did group exercises, and all the other things that happen in a training workshop and yet spending 90 minutes in darkness with this group brought us much closer together than spending 9 hours looking at each other. How was this possible? In the dark, we were all equal. No titles. No posturing. No pretending. No need to present ourselves in the best light (there was none!).
As a communicator, the strong reminder about the illusion of communication being completed when I deliver my message was once again brought home. The need to listen and check and reconfirm that the recipient is in fact receiving and interpreting the message as it was intended is so often forgotten. I sent the email. I distributed the press release. I published the reel. Creating and disseminating a message is not communicating. Tuning in to my audience and engaging in a conversation is what’s truly important. The dialogue in the dark helped me remember some simple yet so powerful lessons. Engaging others with empathy. The human experience is about including everyone and helping each other.
Let go of fear. Step into the unknown explore new worlds bravely and a helping hand will appear. New connections will be forged and you will enjoy the experience. How soon can I accept my new reality? Stop holding on to the past and embrace what is here and now. Trust my intuition and allow all my senses to come out and play. This is what the darkness seems to whisper in my ear.
Dialogues in the Dark was brought to India in 2011 by SV Krishnan and Sudha Krishnan. The concept of Dialogue in the Dark was founded in Germany by Dr. Andreas Heinecke in 1988 when was asked to develop a work training for a young journalist, who had lost his eyesight through a tragic car accident. Andreas had no clue about disability and he could not imagine how life without eyesight could be of value. But the encounter with the blind journalist changed his life and the lives of millions. Today Dialogue in the Dark is an international network with a presence in more than 47 countries as Exhibition, Workshops, Dinner in the Dark and other edutainment formats. More than 9 million visitors have gone through an experience in the Dark and thousands of blind guides and facilitators find employment through exhibitions and workshops.
The views and opinions published here belong to the author and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the publisher.
A trusted coaching and communications professional, Nikhil Dey is a certified life and leadership coach (International Coach Federation - ICF). Nurturing talent and helping clients achieve their goals is what makes him happy. He loves learning from students of communication, teaching courses and guest lecturing at various educational institutions. When he is not working you will find him on the tennis court or out for long walks with his family and four legged friends.
Previously he has held senior leadership positions at Weber Shandwick and Genesis BCW.
He can be reached on twitter @deydreaming
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