About 6 years ago, I was participating in a group learning activity. I contributed initially and then went quiet. The facilitator (let’s call her Ms. Seer, as she could see things that I could not) asked me why I had stopped engaging. I told her “I shared what I had to and I don’t have anything else of value to add”. It seemed to me the right approach to follow and the perfectly natural and respectful thing to do.
Ms. Seer gave me a wry smile and said “I want you to try something new.” She went on to explain how the next time I felt that I have nothing new or particularly valuable to offer, instead of staying quiet I should “Just participate”. “For what?” I asked. “Just for the sake of it” was her retort. It did not make any sense to me, but I trusted her as she was also my coach and had opened me to new experiences, so I promised to do just that.
Many times, since that day I have received the answer. Life is in the doing. Lived in the moment. In the arena. Not on the side-lines, waiting or wondering if I should jump in and participate. Wondering If I had something new or significant to add does not add up. There is only one way to find out if I have truly had something useful or meaningful to contribute. Often the contribution is not to others but to myself. My learning. My growth. Many a time, I later find out that I touched a life in ways I could not have imagined.
Clubhouse, the new voice only social media app reminded me of this lesson learnt. The first time I got an invite from a friend. “Hey Nikhil – I have an invite to Clubhouse and want you to join. 🙂 I added you using…..Here is the link!”
That one I ignored. “No time to waste on a new app, much to do in my new role” I told myself. The second invite came. This time I was tempted. But the resistance to change, the effort involved in learning how to navigate it and a host of other rational reasons (or maybe irrational) stopped me again. The third invite was a sign, I said to myself “Just jump in see what it’s all about.”
It’s truly been a wonderful learning experience. I have connected with friends. Met new people. Widened my perspective on a range of topics that I am interested in. I was participating. Just for the sake of it.
At 10.30 pm on a Saturday night after listening in on a great club house discussion I got what I thought was a great idea. “I should host a session and be the moderator”. Before I could talk myself out of it I did just that. I put my event out into the world. Calling anyone who was interested in ‘Life and leadership coaching – what it is? And what it isn’t?’
Excited and feeling proud of myself I went to sleep. The next morning the reality dawned on me. What if nobody’s shows up? How does one moderate a session? Are there any rules I need to know? What will I talk about for a full hour? These and many other questions sent me on a learning spree. As I read, listened and found answers to all these questions, I found my confidence growing.
I am happy to report that I have successfully hosted my first clubhouse room. I am more knowledgeable about ‘what coaching is’ and ‘is not’ myself. I met a bunch of my old friend and a few new ones. I know a bit more about how clubhouse works. I contributed to my own journey of learning and growth and hopefully in the process added a drop in the ocean for others.
My dream of being the two worlds of communication and coaching together in a meaningful and value additive way takes shape. Why? Simply because I participated. I invite you to try out this approach to life, join the club, step into the arena… Just for the sake of it.
The views and opinions published here belong to the author and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the publisher.
A trusted coaching and communications professional, Nikhil Dey is a certified life and leadership coach (International Coach Federation - ICF). Nurturing talent and helping clients achieve their goals is what makes him happy. He loves learning from students of communication, teaching courses and guest lecturing at various educational institutions. When he is not working you will find him on the tennis court or out for long walks with his family and four legged friends.
Previously he has held senior leadership positions at Weber Shandwick and Genesis BCW.
He can be reached on twitter @deydreaming
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