“When you are in a really dark space it spills over into the world…” I was listening to a podcast on my morning walk, looking at the dark thunder clouds wondering if I would make it back before they unburdened themselves. I am not sure why but as I think about my learning this week, this line has stayed with me.
My morning walk was a great mood lifter and a few hours later, high up in the sky, as I sat in my window seat sipping a cup of tea and looking out at pristine white clouds from up above, I ask myself what colour am I wearing today? “Bright white, warm shades of yellow and maybe a dash of purple and blue peeping through now and again” is my answer. That’s the kind of mood I am in and looking at the word through this lens, it appears to be a beautiful place with much that I have to be grateful for.
Being ‘joyfully me’ is hard work because it means I have to let go of many “you should be…” and “why can’t you be…” questions that I often ask myself. This is not to say I don’t need to work on myself, it’s just that I need to do it from a place of “I want to be…”. All the doing that needs to be done follows this compassionate self-acceptance. Maybe I should say all the sustainable doing, because I have had many short bursts of “I will do xxx”. They don’t sustain because they come from scarcity and fear. Expecting excellence from myself feels great because it tells me I can and I have the potential. That’s very different from shouting at me saying “You idiot how could you or how could you not?”
Autonomy and contribution. The best way for my best self to show up in the world is when I allow myself the feeling of independence and believe I am contributing to something larger than myself. This often happens from a place of abundance and safety, where I feel the deep desire to be better and do better. (Rarely when I beat myself up for not being good enough.) A simple but powerful shift that brings out the best in me and not the beast in me.
Not all days begin with me shining my best and brightest colours out into the world. When the shades of grey emerge and a darkness exudes, it invariably invites similar behaviours and colours from others. When I find myself in this zone, I have learned to accept and allow this to emerge. I sit with it and examine the colours. Who sent them and why? One thing I am careful of is not to let it stay for too long especially when I need to venture out into the world, as my colours can and do colour others.
A conversation with a friend, who pointed out some areas where I was not “as good as I could or should be” my words, not the friends left me thinking. Do u want to work on improving in the area of weakness? Could it turn into a strength? Was I running away from something difficult? Or am I running towards something else that is calling me? No easy answer here. Maybe a bit of both. I need to examine this and get more clarity. I ask myself “Can you just put it all down for a moment?” and I tell myself “It’s ok to feel how you are feeling…”
Framing the story is where Public Relations plays a powerful role. There is research that proves emotions are contagious and that words and other stimuli can impact behaviours. The music played in a restaurant and the volume it is played can make patrons leave sooner or stay longer. The power of words to frame my worldview can be a simple shift to “I still need to learn how to do that” instead of “I can’t do it”.
The responsibility a PR professional has to choose which colour to colour the world is tremendous. The possibilities for PR to be a catalyst and a force of good when it comes to colouring the world are exciting. The need for ethical, professional public relations to be practiced in a world that is leaking misinformation and malice, is more than ever before. Time to paint some new and beautiful pictures in vibrant colours. The world could do with some brightness and lightness.
The views and opinions published here belong to the author and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the publisher.
A trusted coaching and communications professional, Nikhil Dey is a certified life and leadership coach (International Coach Federation - ICF). Nurturing talent and helping clients achieve their goals is what makes him happy. He loves learning from students of communication, teaching courses and guest lecturing at various educational institutions. When he is not working you will find him on the tennis court or out for long walks with his family and four legged friends.
Previously he has held senior leadership positions at Weber Shandwick and Genesis BCW.
He can be reached on twitter @deydreaming
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