Questions, questions, and more questions

What do lawyers, doctors, journalists, detectives, and therapists have in common?

They all ask questions!

There proficiency and skill is based on their questioning and their ability to connect the answers.

The best thing about asking questions is that anyone can learn that skill.

But while we expect the other professionals to ask us questions, when it comes to us asking questions to either our colleagues or managers or even family members, we pause. We may choose not to ask. What if we are labelled as being a busybody or inquisitive? What if we are seen as someone who is interfering in just about anything? However, by not asking questions, we miss finding out more and stay confined to our own thinking and thought process.

The truth is different though. People who ask questions are curious. They want to learn more. They want to grow. They want to build connections with others. They are seen as creative and innovative. All this just because they ask questions!

Albert Einstein said, “If I had an hour to solve a problem and my life depended on the solution, I would spend the first 55 minutes determining the proper question to ask, for once I know the proper question, I could solve the problem in less than five minutes.” He believed it was important to not stop asking questions. And we are all aware of the magnificent discoveries that were born out of his questioning mind.

How to ask questions and more questions

Asking questions is all about the tone, the language, the timing, and the way it is framed.

Corporate communicators as part of their job, do ask questions. But sometimes, we need to delve deeper to understand the rationale behind a media outreach or a social media campaign. The stumbling block is always the ego and the belief that we know better. That as professionals we understand our field and our job better. Overconfidence in the knowledge that one has can be very limiting.

Start at the beginning. By being curious. By striking a conversation first. We do all of this unconsciously when we meet a stranger. Remember the person whom you spoke with in the train or in the flight? It is that easy. Keeping a conversational tone helps break the ice and prepares the ground for asking questions.

How you ask questions reflects your intent. The tone amplifies that intent. Keep a check on the way you make an inquiry. Does it make the other person open up? Or does the question go off track?

Ask open ended questions. Be genuine in your interest. This will help develop trust. Media relations are based on mutual trust. While it is the prerogative of the journalist to ask questions, you can also lead the conversation by asking the context, the background, and the big picture that the story wishes to convey.

Surprisingly, research shows that women tend to hesitate more when it comes to asking questions. Fear of not knowing enough or fear of being seen as the one who asked an irrelevant questions makes women hesitate. This hesitation is aimed at preserving their reputation and at not being seen as not clever enough. At the workplace, women who ask questions also fear being dismissed or being seen as aggressive.

The fear is universal. Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor from the United States shares that she felt so alien when she first arrived on Princeton University’s campus that she “never raised her hand her first year because she ‘was too embarrassed and too intimidated to ask questions.’”

It is time we collectively work towards changing this perception. After all, asking better questions is known to improve decision-making, spark creative problem-solving, strengthen personal relationships, and enhance leadership.

Women can start by asking questions and then following it up with more questions!

The views and opinions published here belong to the author and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the publisher.

Sarita Bahl

Sarita Bahl is an alumnus of Tata Institute of Social Sciences and the Swedish Institute of Management Program. An experienced and versatile leader, she comes with nearly four decades of professional experience. She has over the years successfully overseen the communications and public affairs function and led the corporate social responsibility strategy for Bayer South Asia, Pfizer, and Monsanto, among others. Sarita has held multiple roles across diverse industries, the public sector, trade associations, MNCs, and the not-for-profit sector. Her areas of interest include advocacy, stakeholder engagement, sustainability, and communications.

As an Associate Certified Coach (ACC) from the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and Senior Practitioner (Mentoring) from the European Council of Mentoring and Coaching (EMCC), Sarita specializes in career transition, inner engineering and life issues. Sarita enjoys writing and is passionate about animals, books, and movies.