This is my 202nd article for Reputation Today. I hit the first century on 2021 July. As I reflect back on the years of writing and go through the topics/subjects that I have written on, one thing clearly stands out. Throughout this journey of writing and self-discovery, I have been true to myself. I have written as I am.
It is important to understand that each one of us needs to stay true to her/his own persona. Trying to be someone else or faking things up always go the wrong way. It can show in your attitude; it can be viewed in your conduct with colleagues, it almost shows up in your writings, and of course it is a reflection of your own values.
The need for social approval
From our childhood, we are conditioned to believe that our self-worth is directly related to social approval or external validation from others. Do you recall running to your parent to seek approval for something that you did, even if it meant a drawing? The approval by the parent made you feel accepted, loved and wanted.
Take for example the external validation that is craved for on social media posts. How often do you check on your post to count the number of likes received? How many comments? Who commented? Zero likes may make you feel worthless, whereas a 100+ likes has the power to make you feel top of the world.
The problem begins when in the midst of seeking social approval, we stop believing in our own selves.
You be you
It is time you reclaimed yourself from the need to seek constant social approval and be true to who you are. This will help create a healthy balance of validation from within and from the external world.
#Be grateful
In your gratitude journal, remember to be nice towards your own self. And be thankful for who you are. Give yourself credit for the choices you have made and for the things that you have done well.
#Listen to your own validation
What is it that you seek from others? Seek that first from your own self Listen to how you can validate your expectations. Be there for yourself.
#You determine your own self-worth
Remind yourself that your self-worth is determined by your own thoughts and actions. It does not depend on other’s thoughts and reactions.
#Accept your feelings and emotions
It is okay to crave external validation. We all do. But we don’t need to feel lost if we don’t receive the approvals we seek. Capture that feeling or thought that asks ‘what more do I need to do to get acceptance.’ Instead, learn to accept your own feelings and look inwards.
#Focus on your strengths
We are all unique. List down your strengths and keep your focus on doing better and better in that area. If you are a good organiser, play your strength to the hilt and surround yourself with others who can bring in their own unique skills.
#Show up as you are
There is no need to hide your weaknesses or failures. They define you as you are. Keep an open mind to learn from mistakes and move on. Being vulnerable is a strength.
Stop caring much about what others say about you, think about you, or talk about you. Stay focused on what you think about yourself and your own emotions and thoughts.
You owe this to yourself.
“You have been criticising yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” ~Louise L. Hay, late American motivational speaker and author of the book ‘You can heal your life.’
The views and opinions published here belong to the author and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the publisher.
As an Associate Certified Coach (ACC) from the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and Senior Practitioner (Mentoring) from the European Council of Mentoring and Coaching (EMCC), Sarita specializes in career transition, inner engineering and life issues. Sarita enjoys writing and is passionate about animals, books, and movies.
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