“I don’t know what to say? I will wait for the right time to call. I am bad at these things.”
When I think back over the years, the number of times I have used these excuses to not call a friend at an important turn in the road, jump out at me. If I had to do it again, armed with the new found awareness that the last few weeks have brought alive, I would tell my earlier awkward self. Just make the call. Show up. Because in doing that I am showing the other person that I care.
I care enough to overcome my awkwardness. I care enough to find my way through a conversation that I am uncomfortable having because I care about the person. This is my lesson learnt the hard way in the last few weeks.
Make the call. Within minutes the awkwardness melts away and all that’s left is gratitude for a friend, a colleague a well wisher who extended a hand and held space at a time and place that mattered.
I also realise that for so many years when I could not bring myself to do this, it was not because I did not care. It was because I did not dare. I was to afraid to show my emotion. Showing up would have meant showing how I felt. And that is something I have not been very good at. Luckily this is a new phase and with a lot of help from my wife and other well wishers, I am on this path.
So to all those who made the call. Thank you. It made a huge difference to me and I am grateful. For all those who thought about calling but for so many reasons did not, I am grateful for your thoughts and I completely understand. I have been you for many years.
In the new year, here is me reminding myself…When in doubt. Take the call, to Make the call.
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A trusted coaching and communications professional, Nikhil Dey is a certified life and leadership coach (International Coach Federation - ICF). Nurturing talent and helping clients achieve their goals is what makes him happy. He loves learning from students of communication, teaching courses and guest lecturing at various educational institutions. When he is not working you will find him on the tennis court or out for long walks with his family and four legged friends.
Previously he has held senior leadership positions at Weber Shandwick and Genesis BCW.
He can be reached on twitter @deydreaming
I found this very relative