“People enjoy the company of those who enjoy their own company” I remember reading this line in the speaking tree column on the edit page of ET. It really resonated with me. In a screen-based world, where I am looking for ways to learn and connect, this idea of being comfortable in one’s skin, shines through more than ever.
When you are rich with true knowing, you become a magnet for people who want to know what you know. The opposite is also true. Lack of that true knowledge and reliance on slides and presentations filled with someone else’s thoughts are equally easy to spot. This confidence of knowing comes from deep within. It is muscle memory, born out of years of experience. Having that kind of knowledge is invaluable in a new terrain where all attention is focussed on navigating the unknown. This new hybrid world is taking its toll in terms of the energy and attention needed to explore and figure it out. The perfect time and place to draw on that inner reserve of instinctively knowing how to do something.
There is a quiet confidence that comes from knowing something really well. No better place to start than with oneself. Do I know what I want? Do I know what I am really good at? What are my natural skills and talents? What are my core values as a person? Do I know who I am? In Coaching parlance, we refer to this as ‘The Human Being’ and ‘The Human Doing’. When I have done the inner work and have the self-awareness to be able to answer some of these questions, I start to enjoy my own company. When this happens, as if by magic, ‘people like me’ start to enjoy my company too. The more I start to ‘do me’ and ‘be me’ the more I enjoy life and so do those around me.
Soul2Soul Coaching is built on this premise. I remember when I was writing the content for the website and choosing the pictures, the communications consultant in me had a lot of criticism to offer the coach in me. I told myself the visuals did not connect to the topic, the URL was not easy to remember, there was too much of my personal stuff in the story, and not enough about my methodology. And yet the Coach in me was so very clear that this is what I wanted to say, this is who I wanted to be and this is how I wanted to show up in the world.
That knowing and feeling, deep within, silenced the critic and gave wings to my coaching practice. This is what draws clients to me from different parts of the world. I help them understand and see how to connect what their soul wants with where their soles are leading them. I enjoy doing this work, of helping people find the alignment between their souls and their soles. They enjoy spending time with me. This is the magnetic zone.
In the world of communication as well, I see this much more clearly now. Companies and brands that are deeply rooted in purpose, who understand the essence of their ‘doing’ and ‘being’ are the ones that are flourishing. The sudden surge in global attention toward Environmental, Social and corporate Governance (ESG) is linked to this idea of being in alignment. Customers, employees, investors, and regulators are all expecting organisations to walk the talk and want to patronise and support companies whose ESG quotient is high. This is about alignment between people, planet, and profit. We will vote with our wallets for those who demonstrate this behaviour.
The organisations that do this because they understand this new reality and care about it will be the real winners. Those that pay lip service to it or take tick in the box steps to appear compliant will not enjoy the benefits. The companies that get truly comfortable with the idea of being ESG ambassadors will walk the talk and enjoy doing it. Like I said in the beginning “People enjoy the company of those who enjoy their own company.” As an individual or as an organisation, this holds true. Find your true north, follow that compass and you will make yourself a magnet.
The views and opinions published here belong to the author and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the publisher.
A trusted coaching and communications professional, Nikhil Dey is a certified life and leadership coach (International Coach Federation - ICF). Nurturing talent and helping clients achieve their goals is what makes him happy. He loves learning from students of communication, teaching courses and guest lecturing at various educational institutions. When he is not working you will find him on the tennis court or out for long walks with his family and four legged friends.
Previously he has held senior leadership positions at Weber Shandwick and Genesis BCW.
He can be reached on twitter @deydreaming
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